I’ve always been Ms – if anyone telephones and asks for Mrs so-and-so I know they have no idea who I am. A caller once asked if they could speak to Mrs Morrell – my departed boyfriend (not dead, just left me) was Mr Morrell. We had always been MarvellouSly unmarried. Unsurprisingly, I wasn’t thrilled to receive that phone call. Even if an unknown caller gets the correct surname, I’m unlikely to want to talk to them and rarely give out my landline number – Mobile’S best for me.
Let’s suppose my surname is Stuart.
It’s not but I quite like the idea of being Ms M.S. It is common for me to be
cast as an unnamed female character - Mum or Teacher or Nurse etc. I recently
played Headteacher in a short film. The writer/director agreed I could call her
Ms Mary Stewart. It always looks better for your character to have a name on
your CV. I went with this name as I was drawing upon BBC newscaster Moira Stuart
for the headteacher’s voice. Ms Stuart has gorgeous tones and is a joy for me
to hear on BBC Radio 2 in the MorningS.
Anyway, as Ms Stuart I might get a
junk phone call asking to speak to Mrs Stuart – I will ask who is calling or,
if I’m feeling grumpy, I’ll just say there is no such person ignoring the fact
that my sister-in-law is Mrs Stuart, my mother was Mrs Stuart, and there must
be nuMerouS other Mrs Stuarts in the world.
Ms is not the same as Miss or Mrs
but can disguise either. My Sister is a Dr (not medical but she has a PhD so
doesn’t have to be Ms, MisS or MrS). I don’t even have a MSc. I am a Ms with
MS. The MonSter pervades my life. On a Facebook forum today, another MSer
posted the idea that referring to our condition as MonSter is negative and we
should alternatively go with MeSsenger “telling you to slow down, rest up, eat
well and love the good things and people in your life “. A bringer of tidings,
good and bad?
I think I’ll stick with MonSter. I
quite like MonSters – they can be friendly MaSsive MateS. Their MiSsion is not
always MadneSs. The MeSs my MonSter brings may not be something I would have
wanted to join. However, MemberShip changed my life MaSsively in a MilliSecond
in MillionS of ways, not all bad but I’m still discovering what they are.
The MuSic of my life is an unknown
ManuScript MoStly played out in MicroSoft packages or eaten with dodgy
quantities of MSg. If I make MiStakes, I proMiSe to recoMpenSe as best I can.
This xMaS I have not kissed under
the MiStletoe but I have MuSed on life and love. I am making MoveS forward. It
is not iMpoSsible to change. I have MS but I won’t go backwards. Let’s face it
– I don’t do SM. I’ve
got enough pain going on already.
