This is how it is but that was how it was

I’m going to Huddersfield, West Yorkshire tomorrow. It’s a bit like going home. I lived in this bastion of Luddites’ uprising for many years. It features the location of the first home I ever owned. A wonderful stone built, end terrace house appropriately enough opposite a mill where they spun yarns – a bit like me. Though mine are less good at knitting into cardigans.

A great friend of mine still lives there. Not in my old house but in one of her own, a back-to-back in what some might think of as a slightly posher area of town. She doesn’t have a genuine Irish pub down the end of her street. Nor a mosque at the other end.

Many years ago we went away together on one of my very few holidays abroad. I was reminded today that I had promised to email my photos of it to her although I have already given her a little booklet with them all in. I had scanned the prints for an online site so I could create that booklet. They weren’t taken on a digital camera – it was that long ago.

I love old photos. They remind me of how things used to be. How I and my friends and family used to look. Things we used to do. Just this morning, I emailed a bad photo I had taken on my mobile to MyMan saying: “I still want a photo of you… and of us together.”

He doesn’t like having his photo taken. I don’t particularly like it either. Of course, some photos are different. They are a professional necessity. Despite this evidence from childhood, I am not really a poser – I’m the one in the middle!

At home I have a photo frame with a picture of me and two of my best friends in. The frame says Good Times all round the edge. That’s what photos are great for – reminding us of the good times. In the dark days and in the dimness of my diminishing memory I need those reminders.

I hope I can persuade friends to take some photos over the coming few days. Then, in years to come, I’ll be able to look back at them and say “This may be how it is, but that was how it was”. Meanwhile, tomorrow night me and my Huddersfield friend will be saying “those were the days my friend”. I don’t think we’ll be singing it. Even in Corfu we weren’t that drunk.

P.S. Hopefully, on Thursday I'll get my new blood test results. Equally hopefully there will be something to celebrate and I will be having to curtail my Yorkshire holiday to come back for the ECG testing that accompanies restarting wonder drug Gilenya. Cross your fingers for me please.

What the future holds...

who knows?! 
You may have long term plans. I don’t. I never have.

I very rarely plan anything ahead. I don’t have a personal five day let alone five year plan.

There are exceptions. My diary is now littered with hospital appointments. I am hosting a Cake Break in aid of the MS Society in exactly three weeks’ time. This forward planning is unusual.

My normal response to invites to future events I would like to attend is either

a) a regretful ‘No, I am already booked for…’ or

b) a tentative ‘Yes, depending on work. But I am currently available’.

For me, work comes first. By work I mean acting commitments. Over the years, friends and family have had to get used to me dropping them in favour of jobs. I missed my first cousin’s wedding because of a theatre tour. I only have two first cousins. My family were not at all impressed.

In 2005, I agreed to go on a going-abroad-holiday with a good friend. I rarely have holidays. I am reluctant to book ahead for things in case a job comes up. It is a common phenomenon for an actor to get a great job as soon as a holiday flight has been paid for.

This holiday was to mainland Greece to join in the celebrations for my friend’s Greek friend’s wedding. My friend wanted to go for at least 10 days. I only had 7 before a good theatre job started rehearsals.

I suggested my friend could stay for longer than me but she felt it would be simpler to book us on the same flights and accommodation so we just went for a week. It was a fabulous holiday. We saw amazing places like Epidaurus, Mycenae and Olympia.

In fact all of my (very few, all bdx) going-abroad-holidays have been excellent. They have often been booked at very short notice because I rarely commit to things in advance. Many castings come at a matter of days or hours notice. Jobs get cancelled or rescheduled. There are no certainties.

In 2000, I went on a Nile cruise with my then boyfriend booked less than two weeks before. It was a fabulous holiday.

The Greece trip was my last going-abroad-holiday. That’s nearly six years ago.

I’d quite like another and now that I’m not injecting it would be a lot easier. Although I don’t want to travel alone, at least I wouldn’t have to consider potential complications of taking needles and non-oral drugs onto a plane.

I don’t know what my future holds but a holiday would be good.