I’ve been away. Away from this blog, away from an easy pattern of sleeping in my own bed each night, away from peace. If anyone knows where my joy has gone, I would like it back please. Some things are back already. I am here. Not for long but here today. So is the waterproof mascara.
As comebacks go, it has not been eagerly awaited. There has not been the joy of anticipation reserved for birthdays and other celebrations. Tears roll down my face with the unpredictability of an erratic bus service and woe betide anyone who asks me how I am. Fragile is my common answer. Accompanied by unexpected water falling from my eyes. I don’t wear much make-up on a daily basis but I hate to go out without mascara. Recently I have made sure it is the waterproof stuff otherwise I may end up sporting the panda eye look.
Often there is no ostensible cause for the tears. Sometimes they are justified. The other day I was staying in a horrible hotel. It was more like a hostel and I was miserable. I cried.
I got over it. MyMan cheered me up on the phone. I had a job to do the next day so I pulled myself together and did the best I could. The best was pretty damn good. I was exhausted by the end of the day and unbelievably happy to back in my own bed. I have had three consecutive nights at home. I have been able to bag up some things to take to the charity shop. Getting rid of things I don’t use/want/need is always good. I wish it was that easy to get rid of the MS, get rid of the tears.
Today I am fine. I will still wear waterproof mascara though. I never know what may happen to trigger the MS mood changes that blight me. Now, excuse me whilst I go and put on some waterproof mascara before going out to face the world. I will be back.
Whatever it takes -- waterproof mascara, invisibility cloak, heart pump, a smile -- use it. MS is no friend. Gather all the protective gear you need.
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