I
cycled into town today to meet fellow MSSY group members for a drink (that's a
defytheMonSter* feat in itself) and I wondered how much time do we spend not
seeing, not hearing, not smelling, not feeling, and, yes, not tasting... I must
remember to keep my mouth closed when cycling - I'm vegetarian and flies don't
taste good**!
On
Talulah***, I picked up wonderful blends of smells, scents, aromas and indeed some
proper pongs - ewww. For the most part, I felt alive, connected.
The
fact that I could hardly walk when I'd parked up Talulah (and dropped keys, water
bottle and helmet - twice each) didn't detract from the fact that I had gone
out. I took that bold step of being in public.
I
have been doubting myself a lot recently. I feel more alone than normal. I love
the summer. I love that sunshine brings people outside. I love that I see and
chat to my neighbours. People are more likely to eat outdoors in the sunshine
and the food tastes better. But, as empty weeks of summer stretch ahead, I want
to be loved. I want to be respected. I want to be liked. All three would be
great. Can you hear me? Or is this senseless?
* I have started this hashtag on twitter in an attempt to focus on the positive - there is always something, every day, that is an achievement
** I
do keep my mouth closed and didn’t swallow any flies but it’s funny
*** Talulah is my electric bicycle - she was an expensive but fabulous addition to my life
