Senseless

I cycled into town today to meet fellow MSSY group members for a drink (that's a defytheMonSter* feat in itself) and I wondered how much time do we spend not seeing, not hearing, not smelling, not feeling, and, yes, not tasting... I must remember to keep my mouth closed when cycling - I'm vegetarian and flies don't taste good**!

On Talulah***, I picked up wonderful blends of smells, scents, aromas and indeed some proper pongs - ewww. For the most part, I felt alive, connected. 

The fact that I could hardly walk when I'd parked up Talulah (and dropped keys, water bottle and helmet - twice each) didn't detract from the fact that I had gone out. I took that bold step of being in public. 

I have been doubting myself a lot recently. I feel more alone than normal. I love the summer. I love that sunshine brings people outside. I love that I see and chat to my neighbours. People are more likely to eat outdoors in the sunshine and the food tastes better. But, as empty weeks of summer stretch ahead, I want to be loved. I want to be respected. I want to be liked. All three would be great. Can you hear me? Or is this senseless?

* I have started this hashtag on twitter in an attempt to focus on the positive - there is always something, every day, that is an achievement

** I do keep my mouth closed and didn’t swallow any flies but it’s funny

*** Talulah is my electric bicycle - she was an expensive but fabulous addition to my life