Filling the gaps

I’m trying to remember what I’ve forgotten. I keep falling at the first hurdle. It’s like there is a tickle of a memory sometimes followed by a trickle but never a torrent or gushing brook. Oh no all these streams are making me want to pee again. 

I had a bad day for close calls on the incontinence front recently. I am getting close to needing another batch of bladder Botox. The other day me and my husband were on our way to see a great fun show in Oxford. From Banbury. 

Did I mention that I have moved? Well sort of moved. Covid made it silly to keep living in separate homes. I still own my flat in Oxford and many of my possessions are there but the address on my driving licence is now Banbury - my husband’s house. Anyway back to the continence issue. 

For many years the gift that keeps on giving (MS) has caused me to suffer with urinary urgency incontinence. That’s a mouthful to say.  One of the joys of bladder Botox is that I have some respite from this troubling symptom. But at the moment it is coming back and is accompanied by occasional fear that I will pee or even poo before I get to the toilet in time. Tena pants are bought in bulk!

I was a passenger in my Motability car as my husband drove. The pressure on my bladder was getting more and more intense. I had peed before we left home. I had even peed at the cafe we visited before heading off to Oxford. But I had drunk a Diet Coke. It’s a fatal flaw in any travel plan for me. For some reason this particular carbonated drink causes bladder and bowel action. Not instantly but usually inconveniently when there are no nearby conveniences. (Lovely lavatory language we have in England don’t we?!)

This time it was practically a race against time. Toilet time. We were in the car. The pressure was becoming unbearable. It was a dual carriageway with no stops. For miles. My husband could tell I was in agony. Fortunately he knows exactly which town (in this case the largest village in England) on route has public conveniences.  Would we get there in time? Would we find somewhere to park? Would the public WCs be open if we could even answer the two previous questions positively?

I feel like I am setting up some suspenseful trailer. Tune in next week to find out. 

No that’s alright. The answer is yes. But it felt like a nightmare at the time. And even when I had been able to use the conveniently located conveniences, the cubicles were so narrow I couldn’t self catheterise and knew I would have to pee again before too long. It was slightly less urgent this time but I was glad to arrive at the show venue where I knew there would be an accessible WC and it would be clean and comfortable and there would be toilet paper. Not that the public WC didn’t have those qualities but it was very public. I could see the feet of others waiting to use the loo under the door whilst I was availing myself of the facility. And I could hear their conversation. Well most of it. Part of me wanted to stay a bit longer. To linger so I could find out who Kate and Alice and Pete were going to “do over” and exactly why. And what tools they were referring to. But, you know, sometimes it’s good to leave the gaps. I can fill them in my imagination. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t serious. I don’t think I need to ring the police. After all it is Xmas time and lots of people decorate there homes at this time of year. 

Happy holidays and good will to you all.