Sunday, 22 January 2012

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

This song has been going round my head - Maxwell's Silver Hammer
“In 1994, McCartney said that the song merely epitomises the downfalls of life, being "my analogy for when something goes wrong out of the blue, as it so often does, as I was beginning to find out at that time in my life. I wanted something symbolic of that, so to me it was some fictitious character called Maxwell with a silver hammer. I don't know why it was silver, it just sounded better than Maxwell's hammer. It was needed for scanning. We still use that expression now when something unexpected happens.” Times are bad when I start quoting Wikipedia in my blog posts but at the moment times are bad.

Completely out of the blue, MyMan did the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” speech.  He doesn’t know if he can/should ‘do’ relationships. He ‘cares’ about me a lot – this from a man who has always said he loves me and can see us together in our 70s. It was a blow to the head. And much worse than a few days previously when I fell badly and banged the back of my head hard on the floor.

My GP gave me a hospital sheet she printed off: ‘Advice after a head injury’. I had the accident on a Tuesday. I saw her on the Thursday. Already I had contravened six out of the seven pieces of general advice. The only reason I hadn’t broken the seventh is because I don’t do contact sports.

There does not seem to be a similar advice sheet for what to do after your boyfriend unexpectedly decides he is not sure about whether he should be in a relationship. I think I have to go along with the general piece of head injury advice under the heading ‘Long-term problems’: “Most patients recover quickly from their accident and experience no long-term problems.”

I am in a holding pattern. The relationship may not be without hope. I love MyMan. He is going through a difficult time. I have only just come out of a period when I thought I was going into relapse. He says that I still tick all the boxes for him. It’s not me, it’s him. My head hurts.

1 comment:

  1. Generally speaking, men are unpredictable. Hope it all turns out for the best.


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