Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Don't push me

I seem to be in a bit of a negative frame of mind. Another blog post starting with a “don’t”. This time it’s Don't push me cos I'm close to the edge. The lyrics aren’t exactly right but the refrain rings true with me.

Yet on Friday evening I will be positive. I will accept offers. I will start scenes with my body language and dialogue open and affirmative. I am performing in Kevin Tomlinson’s Charity Olympic Improv Show – do come along!

At the heart of this sort of Improv is honest storytelling, spontaneity, being in the moment. As an MSer I try to live in the here and now. I try to accept things as they are. At the moment it just feels a little like I’m on a tightrope and might fall off at any moment. I felt like that even before I read Funky Mango’s Musings today:

Tomorrow I will go to the hospital for a regular clinic appointment. I will be asked about how my MS is, about my symptoms, about how I am. I will have to confess to doing too much, to not sleeping well, to being in the position again where I don’t feel hungry so I often forget to eat. In many ways, I’m doing well but in very many others I’m not. I’m on the edge. I’m wobbly. My balance, or lack of it, is a nightmare. Please don’t push me.

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